2003-03-12 + 7:37 p.m.
~* I cry for you all the time, yet you...*~
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~*I cry for you all the time, yet you stand there and tell me that my tears mean nothing to you. How can they mean nothing to you? Don't you see that the tears I shed are for you and you alone? Don't you see this?*~

I feel so sick sometimes now. I'll be doing fine in a store and then all of a sudden I get really dizzy, sometimes my heart hurts, I have a little bit trouble breathing. It drives me nuts. It really does. I think that I should see a doctor, but it's not that serious. I tell myself this all the time. I tell myself this when I get this certain pain, that pain which I hate getting. Luckily I haven't gotten it recently.

Sometimes I think that me getting sick is just a punishment for being bad. Though I don't really believe that I am a bad person, I think that I am stupid and bad, for what reasons I don't know. I'm being punished for something though, I know I must be...oh god, I don't even know what I am talking about...

My brain is gone to the world again, I don't know what is going on around me, I don't know what is surrounding me. I wish somebody would come and let me know that everything will be ok...

smokin' / hot