October 13, 2003 + 9:49 p.m.
Yeah I'm out of it.. you know that's me of course
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I love how weed makes you feel good and counselors don't do you a shitload of help. Seriously. I went to see my counselor today about the cutting and she didn't really help me at all. So, I gotta take matters into my own hands I guess. I gotta do things for myself. Screw myself over. If I gotta hurt myself to make myself feel better then I fuckin' will.....

You know, all I wanna do is feel good. That's all, and it's like nothing makes me feel good. And it's like fuckin' PAIN and hurt every day and I'm getting tired of it. Can't you understand why I'm doing this stuff to me? It may be bad but it makes me FEEL good and isn't that what matters? Not going my first class tomorrow, but I'm making sure I go to my second class, and for the rest of the week, I just gotta go to class. Do my homework and pull my grades up, because you know my grades are slacking like mad crazy. Considering how I've been skippin all my classes. Haha.

Shit I didn't mean to skip my Spanish class, didn't mean it at all and I did anyways.

Nothing else to do but sit here and feel high. Damn, it's time for bed I guess. I wish I didn't have to go to classes...

Got a stupid meeting tomorrow to.

Maybe I DO need to go to a hospital... eh... life... shitty, what else can I say?

smokin' / hot