October 15, 2003 + 7:54 p.m.
you'll never know how much I love you
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I etched your name out onto my imaginary stone. Wondering when it'll get scratched out. Wondering if the stone will ever wear down and your name will become invisible.

I don't know if that will ever happen. See- I love you so much. I've allowed myself to take that step in my life, I've allowed myself to make the biggest mistake. To love. And you'll never know. You'll never know, because I don't want you to know how much I care. I know that if I tell you, you will only turn your back on me. I don't want that to happy.

Because you see- this relationship will never happen. It can never happen. For reasons that I don't want to get in. You'll never feel the same way about me, and it's better that way. Better for us both. Or better for you. Because knowing that I'm loving someone, that I'll never be with, hurts me. It brings me down.

Love. Oh I love you. But I need to get over you. There's no way you can even suspect that I love you the way I do. And you never will.

smokin' / hot